In medias res

Since I was not even four weeks pregnant when I found out, I had the option of a medical abortion instead of a surgical procedure. For some reason, I imagined it would be easier and feel more natural, “natural” being equated with good in some way. Of course I can handle cramping and bleeding! It happens every 28 days for me!

Ack. Not necessarily true, despite my intuition. The protocol used by Planned Parenthood in my region is this: you go to their office (after a phone counseling session), they do a pregnancy test and ultrasound to determine the length of the pregnancy, then they give you a pill, Mifiprex, which you take there, and then send you home with instructions, the second round of pills (misoprostol), antibiotics, anti-nausea meds, and an RX for Vicodin. The first pill stops the fetus from continuing to grow, and the second round, taken 24-48 hours later, starts cramping and empties the uterus.

I asked if I’d feel sick before taking the second round. It’s unlikely, they said. I woke up vomiting, and I vomited all day until I wished I were dead, especially knowing that I had to take more pills that *do* cause nausea and vomiting. I really hate throwing up. Severe cramping, bleeding, and more vomiting ensued within 30 minutes of taking the misoprostol. That was when I wished I could change my mind and have a surgical procedure instead. The unbearable pain continued for several hours, but eventually I was able to rest. I’ve since read in some forums that it goes on for hours and hours for some women. My sisters were with me, and we found that holding a heating pad on my abdomen while one of them gently massaged my lower back helped.

A week later, I started experiencing significant pain beyond the occasional cramping and also started running a fever, so I went back to PP, according to their instructions. There, they diagnosed a uterine infection and gave me more antibiotics. Statistically, not many women get uterine infections after medical abortions⁽¹⁾; I’m the person for whom medical things seem to always go wrong, so I guess I should have known it would happen to me. Now I worry that the infection may have done enough damage to make conception difficult in the future. It’s really terrifying. And there’s nothing I can do about it. So, I’m taking care of myself, trying to get better, crying when I feel like it.

I was in for a follow-up appointment the other day, and a number of girls were in the lobby, waiting for pills for a medical abortion. If I were their doctor, I would prepare them for the experience to be physically worse than what I was ready for after talking to my doctors.

Follow the larger story of my abortion experience here.

Update, 2/9: Based on some ignorant comments by right-wing anti-choicers elsewhere, I’d like to point out a few features of this entry that apparently escaped their notice or that need elaboration in order to keep them from wholesale making things up.

1. This is about the physical experience, and only that. I note that “‘I’m the person for whom medical things seem to always go wrong.” My experience, especially with the infection, is outside the norm, although medical abortions can be pretty painful anyway.
2. Two physicians at Planned Parenthood spent over an hour with me that day, talking, answering questions, and mainly giving me a chance to back out if I wanted. I’ve never in any other setting had even one physician spend that much time with me, outside of surgeons operating on me while I was unconscious.
3. On my emotional health, in a comment elsewhere, I note that “I’ve gotten a lot of help from people in my life, both from counseling services to which Planned Parenthood referred me, and from my own therapist, as well as friends. … The local helpline to which PP referred me is excellent, and the PP staff have also been good resources. I was surprised at the care they demonstrated for the emotional effects; in fact, I felt that my physicians prepared me better for those than the physical misery of the experience.”
4. While I wish they had been able to tell me “this is going to be hella painful and you are going to get an infection,” there’s no way they could have known that. One person went so far as to suggest I should be angry at them. Uhhhhh, LOL? Based on my experience, if I were counseling people beforehand, I’d say “in my case, it was much more painful than I was expecting. If things go poorly, do you have someone who can definitely be with you at home over the next week to take care of you?”

1. Typically .09-.5%, in large studies. Kruse B, Poppema S, Creinin MD, Paul M. Management of side effects and complications in medical abortion. Am J Obstet Gynecol. 2000;183(2)(suppl):S65-S75.